you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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