What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize