Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
