I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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