i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
