yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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