how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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