soooo we both peed the bed last night...
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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