Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
