The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
