I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
