Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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