I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
