How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
