I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I just want to make out with him forever
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
