Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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