and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I need to align my fucking chakras
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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