Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
