worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
