You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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