i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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