Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i barfeds in our rink
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
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