Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
