There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
