you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
