i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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