We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
