You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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