11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize