Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
What a dumb baby whore.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Also, beer. Big fan.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
