All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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