I need help removing her.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
