you guys were way drunker than both of me
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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