what if every blade of grass was a penis?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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