What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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