roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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