# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
