Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
