Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize