I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
