I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
