so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
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