I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
no, he came in my armpit
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
