Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
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