My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
