At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
