how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
