She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Randomize