I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize