If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
