Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
