did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize