Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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