We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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