he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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