So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
