I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
