I'm eating all of the evidence.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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