All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
