you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
