so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
