moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
