So drunk, too bad you don't want this
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
