She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
