omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
