Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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