It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
