I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
honey bunches of taint.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
