When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
