I think i sorta joined a cult last night
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize