hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I need to stop coming to work sober
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
