It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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