walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
