Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
