Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
