I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize