Can i not drive my cunt home
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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