He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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