He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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