oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
