You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
