so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
