where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I hate all girls vehemently.
It's Friday. Sex?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize
